It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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