My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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