forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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