Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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