oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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