Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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