how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
is that a dick in a sweater?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
