So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
