the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
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This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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