I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
