i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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