Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
