if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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