he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
