I'm really into asian looking animals
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
