i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
