I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
