Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
