yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, beer. Big fan.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
