She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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