All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
