I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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