It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm just crazy horny about you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
