At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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