addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
