If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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