i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
this is an emotional support booty call
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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