My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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