went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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