its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
