and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
