I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize