i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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