how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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