yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
