Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
