Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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