I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
MIDGETS
????
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize