im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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