She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
