the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
