I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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