Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I won the penis lottery.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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