Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
