This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
