Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
