champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
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Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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