Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
