i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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