Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
