ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have aggressive nipples.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
