What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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