just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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