At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
