people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why do cheetos always look like penises
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
