DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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