who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
