he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
