Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
