Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
