Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
