I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Every concussion has its silver lining
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?