i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
