Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels