I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.