you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
