so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
